wow i need to update this more often. sorry
There is no escape. It’s always there, no matter what you do. When you’re sad, it’s there. Even when you’re feeling okay, it’s there. It’s the only thing that will always be there, but instead of being for you, it’s against you. It destroys you, It eats at you, till it becomes you. Soon it’s all you know, it’s all you are. You can’t get away, it’s not possible, it’s buried you alive. It drove you into a deep hope that you can never leave. You’re so hopeless. It’s so dark an scary knowing death can come at any moment, you’re dying every second, more so than the people around you. There is nothing you’ll ever want more than to be rid of this, but at the same time there is nothing you’ll want more than to hang on to it, forever. As scary as it is, it’s a security. It’s your blanket of comfort, your way to cope. You don’t know who you’d be without it. You’d be lost, empty, meaningless.
No one understands. This isn’t a choice or a life style. this is a death sentence. A torture chamber. You don’t know how you got here, but it wasn’t on purpose. It drags you down and hold you there till you’re gone. It is in control of you. It is an eating disorder.
(Source: unhappyly)
She opens the door and rushes to her room, ignoring her mom who’s asking about her school day. She hides away so her mom doesn’t see her tear stained face. She looks in the mirror, but she doesn’t see her reflection looking back. She sees a mess, a monster. She starts to point out every imperfection she can see, this brings her to tears once again. “Get a grip,” she tells herself. ”this is pathetic, who cares what other people think?” she asks herself then replies silently, looking down, crying, ashamed, “I do, I care.” She holds back more tears, whips away the old and lets out a breath. “Only 3 years left till i’m done with these people” she thinks, this brings a smile to her face, “there. You always loved your smile.” She looks into the mirror, not looking away till she sees what she wants to see. “You’re beautiful” she tells herself. Then smiles and goes back downstairs to continue the day, unbroken.
She walked with a smile.
She laughed with joy.
She cared with her heart.
She loved with such hope
-
She made others smile.
She made others laugh.
So many cared for her.
So many loved her.
-
Everyone said she was happy,
they said she was joyful.
Everyone said she was so caring,
so full of love and hope.
-
But no one knew,
what went on when she was alone.
She’s unhappy.
She’s depressed.
She’s hopeless.
and she feels so much hate.
-
You thought she was happy,
but you didn’t know the truth,
till it was too late.
There is no escape. It’s always there, no matter what you do. When you’re sad, it’s there. Even when you’re feeling okay, it’s there. It’s the only thing that will always be there, but instead of being for you, it’s against you. It destroys you, It eats at you, till it becomes you. Soon it’s all you know, it’s all you are. You can’t get away, it’s not possible, it’s buried you alive. It drove you into a deep hope that you can never leave. You’re so hopeless. It’s so dark an scary knowing death can come at any moment, you’re dying every second, more so than the people around you. There is nothing you’ll ever want more than to be rid of this, but at the same time there is nothing you’ll want more than to hang on to it, forever. As scary as it is, it’s a security. It’s your blanket of comfort, your way to cope. You don’t know who you’d be without it. You’d be lost, empty, meaningless.
No one understands. This isn’t a choice or a life style. this is a death sentence. A torture chamber. You don’t know how you got here, but it wasn’t on purpose. It drags you down and hold you there till you’re gone. It is in control of you. It is an eating disorder.
(Source: unhappyly)
